And it's called love
by Claude Amelia Song
Summary: I always wondered what if Lily didn't turn her back on Severus. What if he understood sooner what it meant to follow the dark. What if Lily needed an answer of how to get her friend back. Or Severus how to turn his back from it. And they found the answer. It's called love.


**I'm dedicating this to an amazing person whose birthday happens to be today. Happy Birthday my dear!**

Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition

Round 6: Month by month

Pride of Portree: Month:January

Chaser three: I picked Severus Snape and Lily Evans

Optional prompts:

2\. (colour) taupe

7\. (song) Stand by Me - Ben E. King

14\. (song) Black magic by Little Mix

Word count: 2,763

 **Betaed by Jessica, Sarah and Oni. Thank you so so much.**

 **Author's note** : So for my poem's first verse the table part is inspired by the video from the stand by you song where the singer is at a table.

My story changes the solution with the problem in the Black Magic song. Severus doesn't have time because of it and love is the answer.

So finding this about taupe, how it's a combination between brown and gray, I decided to use the meanings of both in my story.

Taupe is a mixture of both brown and gray. It isn't actually one single color, it covers a range of different shades from a brownish gray/tan color to a grayish brown color.

Taupe encourages neutrality like gray however with the inclusion of brown it becomes a warmer more comforting color.

 **Brown** is reliability, elegance, security, healing, home, grounding, foundations, stability, warmth, and honesty, is a natural, neutral color that is typically associated with the seasons of fall and winter.

Brown is friendly and welcoming. It is loyal, trustworthy and reliable, in a practical and realistic way. In color psychology the color brown is referred to as honest, genuine and sincere. Brown is sensual, sensitive and warm, and gives one a sense of calmness and comfort. It is a practical and sensible color, indicating common sense.

The color brown gives reassurance. It is quietly confident. Brown does not seek attention - it prefers to stay in the background.  
Brown is solid with strength and maturity.

The **color gray** is a timeless and practical color that is often associated with loss or depression. Dark gray communicates some of the strength and mystery of black.  
The gray color affects the mind and body by causing unsettling feelings.

Lily and Severus are each other's brown, the stability, the ground, the hearth. The Gray is the world they're in without each other, grey is the world Severus sees if he chooses the Black Magic.

Also i found out that taupe stands for unconventional. And I thought a Gryffindor and a Slytherin? In those times? Pretty unconventional. Their whole friendship is.

* * *

 _The world may be dark, no sun, just moon, and everything may crumble, but I know no fear._

 _I know my place is right here, my heart._

 _I'll stand by you, and I won't cry,_

 _Looking at the table with my gambled life_

 _I know I won't cry,_

 _I'll stand by you whenever you're in trouble,_

 _I'll be there,_

 _Always._

 _I've found the answer to survive the calling of the dark,_

 _And it's called love,_

 _The most powerful love of all._

 _And my love for you is always._

 _OoO_

Lily didn't know when things went wrong between her and Severus. They'd been best friends, _the best pair._ And she loved him, she really did...not that she had the courage to tell him. Lily had always believed he loved her too, but lately she'd started to doubt it.

In the past, they always did everything together, but now… now he no longer had the time; he was always busy with his so-called friends. These friends weren't kind and she was afraid they would make Severus the same. They acted horribly and often called her names. She hated them and she wished Severus would stop calling them his friends. _She_ was his friend. They, however, were not.

The whole year she'd felt him drifting away further and further. And she now feared that the gap was too big to cross; that they'd fall if they tried to reach to each other.

That fear had been a constant in her head, whispering in her ear. Severus didn't have time for her anymore. She had been on edge ever since the Dark Lord's latest attack. There were rumours that he was recruiting students and she'd heard he was even accepting students younger than seventh years into his ranks, but...but he wouldn't go as low as fifth, would he?

She prayed he would not. An unsettling feeling appeared in her stomach, like something bad was going to happen. Lily was scared. But of one thing she was sure, she'd stand by Severus; he was still her friend, despite the void between them. The question was...would he stand by her? She hoped so. Friends stood by each other no matter what.

She'd heard stories about how he liked the Dark Arts, how he had been reading about and studying them. She was afraid— would she lose him over it?

He was changing, but so was she; it was normal, right? He had said he was still her friend when she'd asked few days ago; he'd acted like her fears were ridiculous.

 _'Of course we're still friends_ ,' he'd said, _'I love you, Lily._ '

But...had he really meant that? Where was he? Why was he always busy studying? Couldn't they study together like they used to?

They used to be best friends...but what were they now? How could she make him come back to her? There weren't potions that could restore the person he had been before, or any spells for that matter.

Nothing to make it _right_.

It hurt. But all she could really do was to stand by him. To help him see the light, to escape the winter into the spring.

* * *

Severus didn't know what to do. Besides studying for the OWLs, he had discovered a new subject to study: Black Magic. Most people called it _Dark_ Magic, but he preferred Black. It was a colour, nothing that could cause harm if you knew how to work with it. It was fascinating and mysterious. The Dark Lord was a master in it.

A pang of guilt flashed through Severus. His friends treated him well enough and liked his intellect; they didn't make jokes like the Marauders, but… they didn't treat Lily _right_. And Lily was his friend; he loved her. Good Lily, so trustworthy and loyal, reliable, _his friend._

She didn't understand his love for Black Magic, though, and lately Severus had been avoiding her, claiming he didn't have time. They were becoming so different. Sometimes he wondered how they were still friends and then...then guilt would plague him. He wasn't the Mister Right she wanted. He was dark and twisted thanks to his father and people around him. Everything had been dark before Lily. She'd brought him stability, the harmony of a home; Mrs. and Mr. Evans always made him feel welcome. Another pang of guilt came through. _What_ was he doing? Thinking of the Dark Lord? That man hated people like Lily. And he loved her. Right?

He had to make a choice and do it soon. The recruiting had extended even to students in his year and though he had managed to put it off he knew they'd expect an answer.

 _Black Magic… Dark Magic…were they really the same?_

 _What was the answer?_

He sounded just like a lost ten-year-old, but he really felt lost.

The world just might be destroyed by the upcoming battle. It seemed like everyone was at war...where should he go? With whom should he stand? As a Slytherin, he had been taught to be loyal to his House.

 _Snakes protect their own; they act united._

To go to the winning side.

 _Slytherins do not lose._

And the Dark Lord was too powerful to lose, wasn't he? Black Magic was the strongest of all. Light _will_ lose. But where did that leave him? Where to go?

 _With Lily, he'd have to give up everything… his magic, his good friends… basically everything,_ something whispered in his ear. _Everything_.

What was the answer?

* * *

Severus had regretted the words as soon as he'd said them, _what had he done?_ Then he heard Lily's reply and his heart sunk even lower.

He'd lost her.

At first, he couldn't function, he couldn't think. Why had he done so? Why?

 _But then_ , the same voice whispered in his ear, _wasn't this what you wanted? An answer._

All he had to do was walk away. She was mad and wasn't going to come back to him. If he didn't…he knew they'd never speak again. And Severus would be free...free to follow the path of _Black Magic._

To not have Lily as a friend? Was that an option? Severus went and sat at their customary spot on the opposite side of the lake; far away from Potter and his friends. The water was clear and the little waves created by the wind seemed to tell a story of their own. And suddenly...

Suddenly it was like he could see the future, like he was transported across time and space years into a new world.

 _He saw a dark and gloomy land, where the moon was the only light he could see and where the mountains had crumbled. Everything was dull and dirty; a feeling of loss hung in the air. He could see the people in front of him trying not to cry as he was surrounded by black, their depressed and resigned faces staring back at him. And between them she stood, his Lily, with a look of hurt and betrayal in her eyes. She'd expected him to stand by her in the end, but he'd abandoned her. The Dark Lord had won, and his Dark Magic was everywhere. And everything was black, black, black._

Severus' heart nearly stopped at the look in her eyes just as his own snapped open. Just where had these thoughts come from? It was a nightmare, it _had_ to be. He quickly shook his head and scanned the scene before him. The grounds looked the same as ever, students all over the place, happy to enjoy the warm, summery day. A few of them were studying but the rest were having fun. He saw nothing dark, nothing black. He _loved_ Lily. She was his best friend. He _couldn't_ … Severus couldn't see a life without her by his side. He would stand by her, wouldn't he? How had he even questioned that? How could he wish something so awful? He had to make things right...somehow. But how did he go about doing something like that?

Severus stood up. He had to apologise. He had to go and grovel at her feet until she forgave him. She...she was more important than the Black Magic. Than _any_ magic at all.

 _But what if she doesn't forgive you_? The voice in his head said _. Wouldn't you be better off if you left things the way they are now?_

'No!' Severus shouted. He was done being controlled by his thirst for Black Magic. To know more. He'd messed up big time with Lily. He'd ignored her for weeks and she'd still come to stand by him and help him against the Marauders. She'd stood by him time, and time again.

It was time for him to stand by her.

* * *

Lily couldn't believe it. She wiped her tears angrily. She'd sunk so low to call him that disgusting name…the name she _knew_ he detested. Sure, she's been hurt by his own name-calling, but...hadn't she promised herself that she'd stand by him no matter what? She knew he wasn't exactly Mr. Right, but she loved him. And she wished they could stand together.

She walked aimlessly across the Hogwarts grounds, trying to clear her head. Somehow she had to make things right. Severus may have been busy and distracted lately, and with no time for her, but...he was her rock, her home away from home. He'd comforted her after she'd become homesick the same way he'd comforted her each time Petunia told her harsh thing and made her cry when they were kids. He had been her loyal friend, her stalwart confidant. How many times had they reassured each other in the colds winter nights that they'd be alright, abusive fathers and jealous big sisters aside? That someday the world would be warmer towards them and they would see the sunlight? Nothing too hot or bright, though, because they both didn't like the spotlight, no matter what Tuney always said.

Lily wasn't sure how long she'd walked while buried in her thoughts, but she could see that the twilight was coming and she'd was nearly to the Forbidden Forest. She switched direction and turned back towards the castle; she had to fix things somehow. So what if the rumours were true and he was dabbling in Dark Magic? That didn't necessarily make him a Dark wizard. He still was her friend, one she'd promised to stand by and she couldn't let a fight like this tear them apart. What kind friend would she be? What friend would do this? She wasn't a whiny five-year-old. She was mature, past fifteen, almost an adult in the Wizarding World. Both of them were. So they had to talk like adults.

Then she saw him. He was standing by their spot, near the Forest, looking at the horizon.

Lily ignored the tightness in her chest. _This was her chance_. Where was her Gryffindor courage now? Then she remembered something her mum had told her and Severus when they had said they weren't brave enough for Gryffindor, the house Professor McGonagall had said she was in, and it sounded awesome. Severus had said he preferred Slytherin anyway, but she could see in his eyes that he wanted them to be together no matter the House.

 _Courage is not about not being afraid; courage is being afraid and doing it anyway._

So with these words in her mind she approached him with slow, steady steps.

"Sev?" she whispered, but she could tell that he heard it loud and clear in the twilight silence.

She watched him turn slowly towards her, a haunted look in his eyes; he was looking at her like she wasn't really there.

He stood up cautiously, and murmured. "Lily?" The lilt in his voice made it sound like a question.

She threw him a nervous smile.

"I…" they both started to say. They looked away again, chuckling nervously.

Lily held up a hand and said, "No, please Sev, let me go first. I'm afraid… I'm afraid I'll lose my courage. So you listen, Severus, and listen well. You're my best friend, you've always been my rock, my stable point, you always were the one to calm and comfort me. I admit, you hurt me greatly. You've ignored me for weeks and I don't know when I will be able to forgive you for that. Then you called me a name you said you never would, a name that brands me like something, like...a disease. You hang out with people who hate everything about me and… oh everything just _hurts_!" She spared a glance at him and she could see that tears were building in his eyes. She forced herself to continue. "But I was wrong too. I called _you_ a name I promised myself I never would. I promised I'd stand by you and when things got difficult, I turned my back on you."

He opened his mouth, but she stopped him.

"Oh, no, I'm not saying it's not your fault—it _absolutely is._ I'm saying I shouldn't have done that. You don't fix things by throwing cruel words back in anger. _And I want to fix things, Severus._ I...you're my friend. The one who always made me feel safe, and I— And I love you. I will stand by you. I wish you'd choose me but… I know I cannot force you."

* * *

Severus was stunned. She loved him? _Him?_ Everything else she'd said seem to fade.

But she wasn't done talking. "I know you're not the sweet stereotype of Mister Right. I know that and I love you anyway. I don't want sweet, anyway. And I'm not asking for you to change overnight. Or at all. All I want is… to talk more. For you to come back to me. I've been thinking for months about how to make you come back, but I don't have an answer. Maybe that's why I've been so afraid to tell you how I feel. I'm sorry I turned my back," she whispered and it struck Severus how vulnerable she looked. So different from the brave lioness she showed the others. There were no more layers.

Looking in her eyes, he realised he felt the same. She'd voiced out all his doubts and fears. The voice in his head was still trying to say it may be a lie, but he ignored it. And then, right at that moment, he decided to ignore it forever.

That vision of the future hadn't been an illusion, but rather an eye-opener. The Lily in his mind had been right. _His_ place was by _her_. Always. He didn't want that vision to come to pass. Black Magic, Dark Magic, they were the same. He'd been tricked and he'd hurt the only true friend he'd ever had. The only one who'd ever really mattered.

Severus felt weak, falling on his knees in front of her; the tears that had been at the corners of his eyes falling down freely.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispered, not wanting to look at her.

Then he felt her kneeling next to him and her hand lifting his face.

"Severus?" she asked and he could see her love for him, _for him!,_ in her eyes, _how had he missed it before?_ And he understood what she was asking.

"Oh, Lily, I love you too. I always did, _always_. And I'm so sorry, so so sorry. I want to fix things too. I realised… nothing matters if you're not my friend. That my place is by your side. I'll stand by you. You...I love you. And...the thoughts I've been having… they _are not_ me. I'm not _… I love you_ ," he repeated and she nodded as if she understood his rambling.

And Lily did, tears in her eyes as well. She took his hands in hers and kissed them, all the while never taking her eyes off his.

Above them, the moon shone brightly. It wasn't a conclusion, but rather a beautiful start.

The Black Magic had failed to bring him to the Dark Lord's side and that would be its downfall. Because one love, side by side, was going to destroy it _; love was the most powerful magic of them all._

 _OoO_

 _Oh, yes, my Darling,_

 _I've found the answer, come to find it_

 _Before the dark comes_

 _Oh, I've found the answer_

 _Just a sip and there's no cure_

 _I'll stand by you,forever_

 _I've got the answer_

 _Come and get it_

 _And it's called love_

 _(It's called love)_


End file.
